Boyfriend 5.0 vs Husband 1.0

So here’s the thing. I previously received an email that was posted before this about Girlfriend 1.0 vs Wife 1.0 – so here’s another side of the story. Let’s put it the other way around. I was laughing while reading this. I’m sure you can relate especially since it “US” Wife 1.0 involved this time. Read along and I’m sure you will not waste your time reading this.

FAQ’S AND TECHS SUPPORT –
"HUSBAND 1.0 SOFTWARE UPGRADE TROUBLESHOOTS"

Dear Tech Support,

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!

Sincerely,
XXX

Dear XXX,

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once
per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than  encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP!
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!

Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

Tech Support

This is the worst part of this story. Hahaha! :D But based on XXX experience, I had the feeling from the very start that this might happen.

Follow-up mail from tech support:

Dear XXX,

Your Husband 1.0 has been infected with the Mistress 2.1 virus. Try
Divorce 3.5 to remove present headaches.

Tech support

Girlfriend 1.0 vs Wife 1.0

A friend just forwarded an email to me that made me laugh. Imagine the situation if we’re being called like this. I told her that I’ll forward this as well to Husband 1.0 so that he’ll have an idea on how to handle this kinds of problems. Read on. I’m sure you’ll repost this.

TROUBLESHOOTING AND HOW TO’S:
SOFTWARE UPGRADE FOR "WIFE PROGRAM"

To: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of the phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you
help me?

Jonathan Powell

To: Mr. Powell

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than their original system. Look in your manual under Warnings – Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPSs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologize button, then the reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFS. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

ABC’s of Genuine Happiness

It’s another week back home. And it’s another Monday for us here. I pray and hope that whatever it is that bothers most of us right now may have inner peace and hope for a brighter future.

There’s an ongoing protest where I’m currently at right now. Insha Allah, it will not affect the main city where we leave. May God Allah be with us always. I know that democracy is a must, but no one should suffer just to get hold of it. Please pray for our world.

Here’s a simple thing to share with you. I believe we all need a sunny happiness everyday.

image

This entry was posted in Others.

Proud SAHM

Saw a blog post from Chikai and it made me feel good about myself. So I’m re-posting what she just said since I’m proud to be a Mommy too.

Uh yes, I work 24 hours a day. Why? Because I am a Mommy! That makes me an alarm clock, a cook, a maid, a teacher, a nanny, a nurse, a handyman, a security officer, a photographer, a counselor, a chauffeur, an ATM, a jungle gym & a comforter. I don’t get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call at ALL hours.
Re-post if you are a proud Mommy ♥

On the Job Hunt Again

Had a heart to heart talk with my nephew the other day regarding him looking for a new work. Well, he’s not the only one looking for a job. I myself is still in search for a replacement. But God is good. He knows very well when is the right time for me to find a job. I searched the web for job hiring and right now the available jobs are currently for construction jobs. I wish I know how to handle work for men, hahaha!

My nephew on the other hand found a job but it’s not in line with his degree. He’s loosing hope actually. But faith brought him to this position so we’re still thankful for his success. Good luck for those people looking for jobs too.

In Need of an Attorney?

I’ve read a story about an accident in Texas. Actually, it’s not an accident but a failure for a certain operation. Have you ever heard about a second hip replacement? Well, in America, there’s a certain operation for some people who had problems with their hips and still had problems after the operation. As a matter of fact, almost 93,000 hip replacement was recall.This is where the help of the expertise (they call themselves the hip recall lawyer comes in). It was found that problems did not occur just because of the hips itself or the process of doing it – but mainly because of the implant that was used during the operation. It’s a very good thing that there’s a group of expertise who studied this problem and was there to lend a helping hand to other people. Texas Truck Accident Attorney and their team are considered the best people to see with this types of accidents.

O’Hanlon, McCollom & Demerath – Personal Injury Lawyers – 808 West Avenue, Austin, TX. 78701 – 512-494-9949

Pay TV Services

Have I told you that we’re the premium dealers for one of the best pay TV services here in Qatar? Our company’s dealing with a network that is originally based in Dubai. And the other pay TV services that we’re offering is a cable subscription that offers free telephone line subscription and an ADSL with a speed of 1mbps.

 

We attended recently a technical support training on some basic information that we’re selling to the customers. And one of the topics were about antenna reviews. I just found that one of the important parts of a satellite subscription would be coming from the antenna itself. Not that I don’t know about it, but it gave me an idea on how to further explain to our customers about the difference between a cable services and a satellite service. Which is a good approach to close a sale. Knowing your products is one of the essential things on how to be good sales man.

 

During the first quarter of this year, our partners launched the HD receivers which was paired up by launching 7 HD pay TV channels. So during our training sessions, someone asked if our partners will be releasing as well those indoor HDTV amplified antenna which can picked up to 10 clear channels. As per them, they are currently working on it right now.

 

The other day, my husband informed me that our Pay TV subscription has ended. We had to renew it at the soonest possible time since baby J’s a couch potato. She can stay for like an hour watching Barney and Friends. So when hubby took the decoder for a test at the service centre, we had to use our indoor TV antenna for the mean time to get hold of the free channels available. Baby J was whining and eager to watch cartoons so we were left no choice but to watch a cartoons series which was dubbed in Arabic, ha-ha!

 

Anyway, our pay TV services is up and running again – Thank God! Hello to Playhouse Disney Channel and JimJam.

“SIM Card Failed”

How many times do I have to get a new SIM? I’ve been using my Smart SIM for the last 2 years. This is the only means of communication I have with my family back home. They can send me text messages being charged at a SMS rate. Unfortunately, last week I find it with no signal and has a prompt saying “SIM Card Failed” –- ooops! I forgot to have it reloaded with credit hence the SIM validity has expired. Oh dear! Now, I’m forced to buy and visit the Pinoy souq to buy a new roaming SIM pack. Sigh…

Lost and Found Kitty

Today, there were 2 cats who stumbled in front of our shop. This is the first time that 2 cats sat exactly in our entrance door.

 

Kitty #1 has black spots on it’s ear. She looks like cat woman.

image

Kitty #2 is a special cat. Why? Because a friend of mine lost her cat 2 days ago, and guess what who dropped in to visit?

image

I was really surprised that he found his way back. Subhanallah! God is great! He’s being taken care of our friend for the mean time since he needs a lot of attention probably because he’s still in shock. Good thing he wasn’t run over some cars in the street or was in a cat fight. Though his face looks so dull and poor. I wasn’t able to take a clear shot of him since he kept on walking back and forth. He was so hungry that our flat mate has to come over the shop to feed him. Welcome back Shooster!

Golden Rule

Work work work…

 

Issues Issues Issues…

 

Envies Envies Envies…

 

This world will not be a better place for all of us if crab mentality rules over above us. People will just be people. Stop blaming somebody else with your own mistakes dude! Karma rules! You sow, so also shall you reap.

 

Here’s something for you to read on: (– and move on with your life)

The Rules of Karma Governing Life on Earth

#1: KARMA TEACHES BY EXPERIENCE AND NOT TO PUNISH

#2: WE ARE ALL HERE TO LEARN LESSONS TAUGHT BY KARMA

#3: WE "FORGET" ABOUT KARMA TO SEE IF WE HAVE LEARNED

#4: KARMA IS IMPERSONAL, LOGICAL, AND PREDICTABLE

#5: KARMA IS PERFECTLY FAIR AND CREATES TOTAL JUSTICE

#6: KARMA MAKES US LINK OUR ACTIONS WITH THE RESULTS

#7: KARMA TEACHES US TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY

#8: KARMA TEACHES US LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR ALL

#9: KARMA DRIVES US TO WHOLENESS AND UNITY WITH LIFE

#10: KARMA DRIVES US TO SERVICE AND THEN TO LOVE

#11: UNDERSTANDING KARMA IS THE KEY TO HARMONY

Got this from here.

Comment on TBS Skyhigh

I’ve always dreamed to reach high places. Aside from flying back and forth thru plane because of our annual vacation, I’m hoping too that someday I could fly and see places by riding these one of kind hot air balloon. Feel the wind on your face, site seeing and most of all, it’ll be one of a kind experience. A real adventure indeed. It’s really is a good offer riding with the Sedona hot air balloon. An amazing flight for 1 1/2 hour is totally awesome if I may say so.