So here’s the thing. I previously received an email that was posted before this about Girlfriend 1.0 vs Wife 1.0 – so here’s another side of the story. Let’s put it the other way around. I was laughing while reading this. I’m sure you can relate especially since it “US” Wife 1.0 involved this time. Read along and I’m sure you will not waste your time reading this.
FAQ’S AND TECHS SUPPORT –
"HUSBAND 1.0 SOFTWARE UPGRADE TROUBLESHOOTS"
Dear Tech Support,
Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once
per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
This is the worst part of this story. Hahaha! But based on XXX experience, I had the feeling from the very start that this might happen.
Follow-up mail from tech support:
Your Husband 1.0 has been infected with the Mistress 2.1 virus. Try
Divorce 3.5 to remove present headaches.
A friend just forwarded an email to me that made me laugh. Imagine the situation if we’re being called like this. I told her that I’ll forward this as well to Husband 1.0 so that he’ll have an idea on how to handle this kinds of problems. Read on. I’m sure you’ll repost this.
TROUBLESHOOTING AND HOW TO’S:
SOFTWARE UPGRADE FOR "WIFE PROGRAM"
To: Tech Support
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of the phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you
To: Mr. Powell
This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything.
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than their original system. Look in your manual under Warnings – Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPSs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologize button, then the reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFS. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.
It’s another week back home. And it’s another Monday for us here. I pray and hope that whatever it is that bothers most of us right now may have inner peace and hope for a brighter future.
There’s an ongoing protest where I’m currently at right now. Insha Allah, it will not affect the main city where we leave. May God Allah be with us always. I know that democracy is a must, but no one should suffer just to get hold of it. Please pray for our world.
Here’s a simple thing to share with you. I believe we all need a sunny happiness everyday.
Saw a blog post from Chikai and it made me feel good about myself. So I’m re-posting what she just said since I’m proud to be a Mommy too.
Uh yes, I work 24 hours a day. Why? Because I am a Mommy! That makes me an alarm clock, a cook, a maid, a teacher, a nanny, a nurse, a handyman, a security officer, a photographer, a counselor, a chauffeur, an ATM, a jungle gym & a comforter. I don’t get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call at ALL hours.
Re-post if you are a proud Mommy ♥
Had a heart to heart talk with my nephew the other day regarding him looking for a new work. Well, he’s not the only one looking for a job. I myself is still in search for a replacement. But God is good. He knows very well when is the right time for me to find a job. I searched the web for job hiring and right now the available jobs are currently for construction jobs. I wish I know how to handle work for men, hahaha!
My nephew on the other hand found a job but it’s not in line with his degree. He’s loosing hope actually. But faith brought him to this position so we’re still thankful for his success. Good luck for those people looking for jobs too.
I’ve read a story about an accident in Texas. Actually, it’s not an accident but a failure for a certain operation. Have you ever heard about a second hip replacement? Well, in America, there’s a certain operation for some people who had problems with their hips and still had problems after the operation. As a matter of fact, almost 93,000 hip replacement was recall.This is where the help of the expertise (they call themselves the hip recall lawyer comes in). It was found that problems did not occur just because of the hips itself or the process of doing it – but mainly because of the implant that was used during the operation. It’s a very good thing that there’s a group of expertise who studied this problem and was there to lend a helping hand to other people. Texas Truck Accident Attorney and their team are considered the best people to see with this types of accidents.
O’Hanlon, McCollom & Demerath – Personal Injury Lawyers – 808 West Avenue, Austin, TX. 78701 – 512-494-9949