How Can I Raise A Gracious Loser?

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Here are photos of my young ones playing her cousins. Julia is in the age of crying whenever she looses a game, which really annoys me since she will gradually say “I don’t like to play anymore…”. And the problem is that her cousins are not sport as well whenever they play together.


We tried explaining things to her, but I guess we’re not explaining it in her own language. Meaning, we need to speak like a child as well in order for her to understand things. But we’re really failing on these stage right now. So hubby asked me on how we can solve this issue. I myself can’t explain so I made a research about it.

Young children are not as concerned with winning and losing as they are with enjoying themselves while playing. However, this doesn’t always stop them from getting distressed or angry when they lose. To help your youngster handle the inevitable, try these tips:

  • Be a good loser yourself. It’s important for your child to see you taking a loss well. If your team loses the company softball game, shrug it off instead of blaming the umpire. (The more you analyze why you lost, the more value you place on winning.) When your preschooler beats you at a well-played game of Chutes and Ladders, say "I lost, but that’s okay. Maybe I’ll win next time." And don’t forget to express how much fun you had simply playing with him.
  • Give him experience. The phrase "Practice makes perfect" applies to losing as well as to winning. If your child never ends up with the Old Maid when he plays cards with you, he won’t know how to handle it the first time he plays with a buddy and loses. If he’s on a huge losing streak, you can let him win once in a while (don’t let him know you’re doing it!), but for the most part, let the rules of the game dictate the outcome.
  • Don’t be competitive. It’s your job to make winning a consequence of the game and not the point of the game. Be very casual about losing. For example, instead of counting up the pairs in a game of Go Fish, simply shuffle the cards and ask your child if he wants to play again. By taking the competitiveness out of the game, you can help minimize the bitterness that comes with losing.

Reading the above incite made me really understand that it really is a must to show that you as a parent set an example to your kid. Because she’ll copy the things that you do.

Julia does everything her cousins will do. So I need to check on her every now and then just to make sure that she’s still on the right track. I hope that it will work this time.

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